I cheated a bit – ‘this’ is quite simple, and I used ‘more’ once instead of ‘oar’ and ‘see’ once instead of ‘sea.’ The part I’m quite proud of, though, is my use of ‘amber’: it means three different things at different places in the poem. I felt quite smug in that, even though only one of the judges caught the reference to Roger Zelazny’s fantasy realm, and wasn’t entirely sure that it was a reference I’d meant to make.
The metaphor about escape to a more enlightened/licentious place is semi-coherent at best, except for the first stanza, where we have some requisite rejection of Catholicism in favour of Druidic tradition. In the fifth stanza that gets rejected, too, because what’s a traditional poetry form without explicit rejection of most forms of tradition?